That one Osomatsu Story
by Grace-Logan
Summary: Totty says something he shouldn't to Ichimatsu, can he be brought back to earth before it's too late?
1. Part 1

"Hahaha Ichimatsu nii-san, don't get your hopes up. You're the worst one here, all dark and gloomy in your little corner. You're never gonna make it out of here, just accept the fact that you're scum and move on with life. You are the trash that lays forgotten in the alleyways Nii-san. We're all pretty pathetic here but you're the worst. You can't even hold a conversation with anyone outside this family unless it's a cat! They're your only friends in the whole world and even they don't show up all the time." Todomatsu laughed as Ichimatsu sighed and got up, uncurling from his corner and grabbing his jumper looked over at Todomatsu with his usual uncaring, dark gaze and walked out of the room to Todomatsu's continued laughter as the others joined in to drag him through the mud.

Sometimes, he hated his brothers. Sometimes, they went too far. Sometimes, not often, only sometimes… They actually hurt him.

He slipped into his shoes and silently left the house, hood of his jumper hanging over bowed head and hands in the pouch at the front. He left with the feeling of eyes on his hunched shoulders and disappeared into the chilly afternoon.

Whilst exercise was never his most favourite thing to do, walking around town by himself had always granted him a sense of peace as he worked through his thought and feelings. Today Totty's words reverberated throughout his skull, repeating themselves over and over and twisting into nastier, more cutting remarks, all of which he'd heard from his brothers at one or more times.

 _Ichimatsu you're such a creep, creepymatsu._

 _You're so annoying Ichimatsu, always being so dark and depressing._

 _Stupid Ichimatsu._

 _Pathetic._

 _Useless freak._

 _Good for nothing waste of space._

 _Scum. Trash. Piece of shit._

 _Disgusting troglodyte. You're such an annoying pest._

 _Pain in our asses Ichimatsu, you're such a bother._

All the things they said in jest rung true to Ichimatsu's ears. He was a pest, he was trash, he was a piece of worthless shit, he was annoying, he was useless, he was so useless, nobody needed him. Nobody needed a good for nothing, pathetic freak like him.

 _Nobody needs me. My brothers never needed me. They never will need me. They'd be better off if I was dead._

Ichimatsu stopped dead in tracks, right in the middle of the pathway. His fists clenched in his pouch. Everything would better, if I were dead.

Ichimatsu was shoved forward a step as someone coming past rammed his shoulder from behind, angrily muttering to themselves.

"Fucking selfish bastard. Taking up the path like he owns the place. Some people have places to be.." The muttering continued but the person was out of earshot. Ichimatsu's breath hitched, he looked to the sky and stared at the ledge of the building thirty stories above him.

 _I would be better off dead. So I can stop bothering everyone._

Ichimatsu turned towards the glass doors of the building and stepped over. He tugged at the stainless steel handles and slipped inside before sneaking his way over to the emergency staircase and quietly disappearing into the stairwell with none the wiser to his presence.

#

"Hey~ my brothers. Ichimatsu's been gone for a while. His cat food is even still here." Karamatsu said pointing to Ichimatsu's bag of dried sardines peeking out from its hiding place. He was ignored by half his brothers on the spot, two of them not even so much as twitching as he broke the silence that had hung over them since Ichimatsu's abrupt departure hours ago. The small conversations between them had been weeded out and strangled in the oddly heavy atmosphere of their room.

Todomatsu grunted in what could have been acknowledgement, but he was scrolling through one of social media sites so Karamatsu wasn't even sure Totty had heard him speak. Choromatsu was the only one to actually acknowledge that he'd spoken with words.

"He's probably just walking around somewhere. He'll be back." Though he was flippant about it, flipping a page of his magazine as he tucked his hair behind his ear, they had been letting their hair grow a bit long recently. Time for a cut, Karamatsu thought to himself sliding into his leather jacket and flicking out the sides of sunglasses.

"I." He said, swishing on his glasses. "Am going to find my dear brother Ichimatsu. Adios my brothers." Karamatsu waved over his shoulder as he slid open the door of their room.

"Don't come back."

"Don't do anything weird to Ichimatsu, shittymatsu."

"Good luck searching through all the trash in this city. If you go dumpster diving maybe you can pick yourself up a new jacket so you'll be less painful."

"Tell Ichimatsu I wanna play baseball with him when he gets back!"

Karamatsu laughed his way down stairs, brushing off his brothers' comments like they were nothing. Ichimatsu like Jyuushimatsu as far as Karamatsu could tell. He'd be sure to relay Jyuushi's message for him.

#

Karamatsu strutted around town directionless. He'd checked all of Ichimatsu's regular haunts, each one had been void of both his brother and his cats and each failed location made him feel a little cold inside. Did he not know his brother as well as he thought? Had Ichimatsu moved on from some or all of these places and found newer, more secluded areas to feed his cats? What was going on?

Karamatsu called his brother as the light began to fade from the day. He'd texted Choromatsu not long ago and Ichimatsu hadn't found his way home nor had he contacted anyone. The dial tone rang through his ear and his anxiety increased with every passing second. An indescribable, piercing icy dread filled him.

What is this? Why am I so worked up? Ichimatsu's disappeared before like this. It's not the first time.

Karamatsu stopped walking off to the side of the footpath and tapped his foot impatiently against the ground as he leaned back against a glass window.

"Come on Ichimatsu, pick up." He muttered, his breath condensing in the air in front of him, it was getting too cold to still be out here. A storm was coming in, he gave it about twenty minutes before it hit full force.

 _"Hello, this is Ichimatsu."_

"Ichimatsu? Where are you? Are you o-"

 _"I can't take your call right now. Leave a message if you want and I might call you back. Bye."_

Karamatsu cursed and clenched his phone in his hand till it began to creak. He took a deep breath, sighed and released the tension in his hand, he slid his phone into his pocket before sauntering over to the guard railing and sitting on it, face toward the sky.

"Damnit Ichimatsu. Where are you?"

His eyes locked on to something falling towards him from the sky, a tiny smudge against the sky quickly growing in size as it descended.

 _Is it a bird?_

Karamatsu squinted to try and make it out. It was a small object, looked like it would be brown or beige had it been closer to the ground. Though at the rate it was falling, distance wouldn't much matter soon anyway. It'd be right on top of him if he didn't move right now!

Karamatsu jumped away from the object as it slammed into the ground and bounced towards him as he rolled to a stop against the glass doors on the building he was loitering in front of. Breathing heavily he got to his feet and pushed back his fringe with a smirk.

"Aha~ something like this could never scare me. Getting almost crushed by a… Shoe?" Karamatsu approached the shoe and crouched down in front of it curiously peering at it as if it'd grown legs and started to tap dance.

"What are people doing throwing shoes off of rooves?" Karamatsu picked it up and turned it over, stopping as a burn mark on the outside trim caught his eye.

"This is Ichimatsu's shoe. Why is Ichimatsu throwing his shoes off buildings? Is he trying to kill someone?… Ah, this is Ichimatsu's shoe, which means that.. OH MY GOD! ICHIMATSU IS ON TOP OF A BUILDING!"  
Karamatsu dropped the shoe, spun to the doors of the building the shoe dropped from and wrenched open the glass doors, bolting for the elevator as the doors close.

"Excuse me sir but we're closing up now, if you could please-"

Karamatsu ran right past the receptionist and jabbed his finger on to the call button. Seconds later the doors opened wide enough for him to slip in, he spun to the panel on the wall and jabbed the door close button ignoring the burly security men rushing for him. He looked up and down the panel of buttons, each one with a floor number on it and jarred his finger slamming the tip into the number 30. He nursed it all the way to the top to the floors and rushed out when the doors opened, he threw quick glances left and right, finding the emergency stairs to his right and bolted for them. Gaining the incredulous, watchful eyes of the workers as he speed past their cubicles.

The door slammed back into the wall but Karamatsu payed it no mind as it dented the door handle. He was already halfway up to the roof, taking the stairs two and three at a time. A strong breeze pushed through the stair well from the rooftop door way and through that Karamatsu could see his wayward brother.

 **His precious brother.**

Standing on the edge and just peering down at the ground.

He burst out of the stair well without a sound and rushed Ichimatsu; any noise he could make was drowned out by the wind buffeting him and Ichimatsu.

He reached out and circled his arms around Ichimatsu's waist before pulling him back off the ledge and into his embrace. They stumbled back, trying to regain their footing as Karamatsu trapped Ichimatsu's arms by his sides and buried his face against the back of Ichimatsu's hood, right near his ear.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing Ichimatsu?"

Ichimatsu struggled against him, turned himself around and glared at Karamatsu.

"Why would you care? I'm just doing you all a favour! Taking out the useless trash!"

Karamatsu tightened his hold around Ichimatsu who wriggled his arms free and tried to shove him away.

"You're not trash Ichimatsu! Totty was just being an asshole, he didn't mean it."

"He was telling the truth Karamatsu. I'm just a pathetic waste of everything. I am the lowest of the low; I'm the worst out of all of us brothers. I'm annoying and I'm a freak and I'm just wasting everyone's' time by being alive. I deserve to die. I bet you all want me to die; you all hate me don't you. You all think I'm creepy and.. And you.." Ichimatsu was cut off by a sob tearing its way from his throat. "You all wish I would just die."  
"We don't. Ichi, we would never, ever hate you."

"DON'T LIE TO ME SHITTYMATSU!" Ichimatsu shoved Karamatsu away and stumbled back to the ledge. He climbed on top and stared down at Karamatsu who looked at a loss for what to do. He reached out to Ichimatsu, tears gathering in his eyes. His chest heaving irregularly.

"Ich-Ichimatsu please.. Please come down."

Ichimatsu smiled and glanced over his shoulder at the ground below.

"I'll be coming down soon." He said. Karamatsu breath caught in his throat as he reflexively took hurried, stiff steps toward his brother.

"NO, Ichimatsu come down to me, please brother! I want you to stay. I want you alive! I-.. We love you Ichimatsu so please, please don't die!" Karamatsu's tears cascaded down his cheeks in thick, fast flowing rivulets. He snorted back his snot and wiped at his eyes but Ichimatsu wasn't looking at him.

"Sorry Karamatsu nii-san I-."

"Jyuushimatsu wants to play baseball when you come back home. So please come back home. He'll be sad if you don't, we'll all be sad if you don't. Don't do this Ichimatsu."

"You won't be sad. Nobody will miss me." Ichimatsu stepped closer to the edge, his heels dangled over the edge, the corner biting into the arch of his feet.

"OI, Get off the roof!"

Karamatsu jumped and spun to see the guards from the first floor running at them. He backed up a step as they came closer. His tears falling slower from the shock of their sudden arrival.

"Goodbye Karamatsu nii-san. I love you."

Karamatsu's eyes widened, he spun back to his brother, tears drying up as his chest tightened with a vice grip squeezing his heart. He lunged for Ichimatsu, one hand out to catch his wrist, his ankle, his anything to stop him plummeting to his death.  
His hand closed around Ichimatsu's jumper sleeve. His heart jumped into his throat as he was tugged forward by Ichimatsu's weight, four arms held him down to the ledge and Ichimatsu's weight jerked free of his hand. Karamatsu stole a half breath before his chest seized in terror, his hand clutched at empty air as wind whipped around him and the guards dragged him onto the rooftop.

"Ichimatsu.. ICHIMATSU NO! ICHIMATSU! ICHIMATSU! ICHIMATSU." Karamatsu shoved against the guards, not hearing a word they yelled at him. Probably telling him to calm down, to breathe, and to stop screaming for his brother lying at the bottom off this very building.

How could he stop that? How could he possibly stop crying for his lost brother? It hurt so much, like someone had doubled the density of his heart and frozen it to the core. Ichimatsu…

Ichimatsu was gone.


	2. Part 2

Karamatsu slouched into their genkan, not silent but not loud either. He plopped down onto the raised floor and snapped the buckles of his boots open before he slipped and them off and stopped. Breathed, hunched over himself as his lungs heaved and hugged himself, forcing himself under control, slipping a mask onto his face. A frail, cracked mask.

He heard his brothers arguing in the room above his head and clenched his teeth, pressing his tongue to the roof of his mouth and squeezing the bridge of his nose, his eyes crinkled tightly shut. In, out, in, out, just like the guards had told him. Breathe in and breathe out, breathe deep, hold, breathe out.

Tell your brothers. They'd said. They had wanted to escort him home, just to make sure he got there safely. He'd declined them before he left, saying he had other brothers waiting for him at home. Tell your brothers. They'd said as they lead him out the back door.

How though? How could he tell his brothers?

One of them was dead. One of them was never coming back! How could he possibly explain that to his brothers!

"Karamatsu nii-san you're back.. Where's Ichimatsu?"

Karamatsu twisted the fabric of his pants in his white knuckled fist. He could feel his body trembling and he was sure who ever it was behind him could see it too. They took a step towards him but stopped as if they'd reconsidered.

"Are you alright?"

"…" Karamatsu shook his head and sniffed. He wiped at his eyes and slowly got to his feet, he didn't turn around to identify his company nor did he so much as glance up from the floor between his feet.

"Is everyone upstairs?" He asked.

"Yeah, we were all waiting for you and Ichimatsu to get back."

Karamatsu twitched but otherwise didn't move.

"Go back up to them. I don't want to say this twice."

"Say what twice? What happened out there? Where's Ichimatsu? What's goi-"

"Osomatsu go wait with everyone else!" Silence fell upon the two, Karamatsu trying to hold back shivers that threatened to quake through his body unchecked.

"Karamatsu nii. I'm Choromatsu. Is everything all right? You don't usually mistake any of us for another, especially not with Osomatsu."

"I'm not all right. Nothing's all right Choromatsu, would you please just go wait with the others. I can't say this again." Karamatsu begged.

Choromatsu stared at Karamatsu's tense shoulders, noticed the quiver beneath his leather jacket and nodded to himself. He turned and began climbing the stairs, Karamatsu not far behind him as he reached the landing and turned to their bedroom. The door was wide open, letting light spill out into the dark hallway with their obnoxious laughter and stupid comments. Choromatsu entered the room and swooped down on his previous spot on the couch. He brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, staring intently at Karamatsu who had stopped right before the doorway.

He watched Karamatsu watch their brothers. Saw the tears tracks dried to his cheeks and his red-rimmed eyes. He watched Karamatsu purse his lips and scrunch his eye brows together before he looked away, looking like he wanted to run away. Though from what Choromatsu couldn't tell.

Karamatsu opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to find the words to retell whatever story had gotten him so worked up this night. With little success he sighed and stepped into the room, closing and locking the door behind him. In an instant the room changed, the brothers all seemed to lock eyes on Karamatsu as one as the feeling amongst the brothers became heavy and humid.

"Karamatsu, where's Ichimatsu? You said you were going to find him right? You shouldn't've come back without him." Osomatsu said, playing with a mahjong piece unconsciously. He tapped it against the table, turning it in between his fingers and flipping it side to side. An old nervous tick. Each brother could feel the tension in the air.

"I-Ichimatsu.. Won't be coming back tonight." Karamatsu said, back pressed into the door like his wished it would absorb him.

"Oh, is that all? Is he coming back tomorrow? Did he decide to sleep in the alley with his cats tonight?"

Karamatsu shook his head. "He won't be back tomorrow either."

Silence took over the room.

"Then, will he be back? The day after tomorrow?"

Karamatsu shook his head again but offered no words in return. He leans more heavily against the door as his brother's stares pinned him down.

"Karamatsu, when is Ichimatsu coming back?"

Karamatsu shook his head in silence again and swallowed heavily.

"He's not coming back." He muttered. It was quiet, almost a whisper, but in the silence of the room it was deafening. "Ichimatsu, he… Oh god." Karamatsu choked back his word and fell to the floor, his knees giving out beneath him. He settled one hand over the tops of his knees and supported his head with the other as fat tear dribble down his face. He sobbed loudly and gasped for breath.

"He killed himself."

"… What?"

"K-Karamatsu nii, that's not funny. Wh-where's Ichimatsu n-nii-san?" Todomatsu was scared. Karamatsu was scaring him, Ichimatsu wasn't, couldn't be dead. It was just a cruel joke by Ichimatsu. He was waiting just outside the house to come in and surprise them.. Surely. Surely he wasn't…

"DO YOU THINK I WOULD LIE ABOUT THIS TOTTY? I SAW IT FUCKING HAPPEN. I WATCHED HIM! I… I wasn't fast enough to save him. If I was just faster, if I hadn't let him go. It's all my fault." Karamatsu's voice faded, washed with his despair and his guilt, his self-blame. He'd let go of Ichimatsu. He had let him fall. He could have saved him.

"What happened?" Choromatsu asked, voice just as sticky as his brothers.

"He just, dropped off a building…. Said, goodbye and dis-disappeared over the ledge. I tried to save him. I re-really really tried. I had his jumper sleeve in my hand but he was just… Gone."

Choromatsu dragged himself up from the couch and approached Karamatsu's sobbing, shaking form. He slid down the wall next to his brother and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him as close as he possibly could, holding him as tightly as ease of breathing would allow through their hiccups and tears and wails of despair.

"It's not your fault nii-san. It'll never be your fault. We'll never blame you for this Karamatsu. Because it's not your fault." Choromatsu kissed Karamatsu's forehead and snuggled up to him, resting his head on Karamatsu's shoulder as they fell into silence. Totty got up and fled the room, he threw open their window, crawled out to their balcony and slammed it shut after himself. Jyuushimatsu cried in the corner, letting his cries out as Osomatsu sat with him and rubbed his back mechanically, crying the saddest of silent tears Choromatsu had ever seen.

He could see that they would never truly heal from this.


	3. Totty's Guilt

Todomatsu slammed the window shut behind him and vaulted the balcony railing to climb down to Ichimatsu's favourite hiding nook between the bottom of the deck and the roof of the first floor. He slotted himself in and curled up against the cold air; if he stayed out here too long the rain would eventually reach their house and trickle down into Ichimatsu's spot probably washing him away in the process.

 _If I hadn't said those things._

He let out soft sobs but allowed no more to sound to escape as he cried. If he let himself he'd just sit there and bawl, wailing out into the night. He didn't want to do that, he didn't.

 _If I had just been nicer to him today._

Todomatsu let out a shaky breath and dropped his head onto his knees.

 _Why was I such an asshole to him? Why was that the last thing I was able to say to him?_

"Ichimatsu nii-san… god I'm so sorry."

Todomatsu sat quietly in place, crying softly to himself for what seemed like hours before he wiped his eyes and looked to the edge of the roof.

 _I want to see Ichimatsu nii again. Just one more time. I want to see him, to hug him so tightly he could never get away. I want to apologize to him. Ichimatsu nii-san… I love you so much. It hurts so much, now that you're gone. I miss you. I want you back. I want to see you one last time. I want to tell you how much I love you brother._

The window behind Todomatsu slid open and banged against the frame. Todomatsu jumped and turned to his brother, unsure of when he'd stood up and moved closer to the edge of the roof.

"Totty, we're going to bed now… Come inside." It was Osomatsu. Todomatsu nodded and threw one last look to the edge of the roof as relief flooded his heart alongside his grief. What had he almost done?

Osomatsu waited for him by the window as he climbed over the railing and jumped into their room. He snapped the window shut behind him and locked it before pulling the curtains closed as Todomatsu watched Choromatsu and Jyuushimatsu roll out their futon.

Everyone grabbed their pillow from the pile in the corner, the remainder settling a heavy weight on their shoulders as they crawled into their usual spots and someone turned off the light.

 _#_

Karamatsu wouldn't stop moving.

They knew what was wrong. Karamatsu slept next to Ichimatsu.

Todomatsu felt Karamatsu curl up into a ball next to him with a tiny, watery sniff. Totty nudged Osomatsu, who nudged Choromatsu, who nudged Jyuushimatsu and they all shifted up into each other's space as Todomatsu hooked an arm around Karamatsu's waist and rolled him between himself and Osomatsu. He hugged Karamatsu tightly before he felt Osomatsu's arms wind its way around Karamatsu as well and he heaved Karamatsu away. It was unconventional and nobody spoke throughout the exercise as Karamatsu was dumped between them all and snuggled up to on all sides. Both Choromatsu and Osomatsu had their arms around Karamatsu, they snuggled together beneath the covers as Jyuushimatsu crawled out of his space and dragged his pillow over to Karamatsu's spot.

He threw Choromatsu Karamatsu's pillow and dropped his own in its place before he slid in under the blanket behind Todomatsu and hugged him from behind. Totty would have put up with it for tonight. He didn't even deserve to be sleeping in the same room as his brothers. He pressed his forehead into Osomatsu's back and mouthed apologies well after his brothers lost consciousness, exhausted from the day's events.

 _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry Osomatsu nii, Jyuushimatsu nii, Choromatsu nii, Karamatsu nii. I'm so so sorry Ichimatsu nii. I killed you. I'm sorry. We want you back. Please let us wake up and let this all be a dream. Please… We never wanted you to leave._


End file.
